Finally, Me Too!

Finally, it found me!

 

A bright hot sunny morning I decided to do it! Still there was a minute hope in me that I am worrying for nothing! May be it’s just a breeze that would go away but, alas, as the clock stuck 9 at night, my phone buzzed with messages. With prayers on my lips and still not finding the courage to open the messages I pulled down the notification bar and the first thing I see...

"Please isolate yourself and stay at home."

With heart racing and confusion I opened my message app and there 2 new messages awaited me and immediately 2 more followed in Kannada.

 

As I read them I collapsed into the nearest chair and couldn't move! Almost for 2 years I had kept them at bay but at last.

"What happened?” My mom's voice reached me like from afar.

My brother had fever for a few days and then cold and severe cough. A few days later my mother followed suit and I was also feeling unwell! Then one fine morning, the fated day, I decided not to take a chance and went for the RT-PCR test!

 

Well, it's been two days since and yesterday night I felt the first tremors of Fever! Took a Dolo but still after half an hour my feet and hands were dead cold! I took one Calpol 500 after an hour and soon felt sweat breaking and I sighed! Again, yesterday, as the clock stuck 9 at night, my phone buzzed with notification. It was a mail notification. At the same time my brother came to me and said "I am negative!" After my test results we had given other's samples too for testing. I kind of knew what the other's results would be too.

I was the only one positive and to be honest I was baffled! It was unexpected and thank God I was already sitting.

Then things happened so swiftly under the guidance of my brother. 

Fast forward, I found myself in a room all alone! They even closed the door!

Well, yeah, it's for their safety and all and I had been wearing mask too at home since I had started feeling unwell. Thank God for that surely. 

 

But still can't help a sort of helplessness that it brings on you.

You are sick... yes! 

You feel alone... Yes! 

Even though you know your loved ones are just on the other side of the door!

 

I had been sharing my bed with Mom since a few days after her hysterectomy (oh! that was some nightmare, isn't it!). And, Bro fears that she might have got infected through me!

Valid! 

Ah, but this heart!

Our Aunty (Dad's sis) who is a doctor suggested a retest since Bro had loss of smell! So, he went to the health center nearby to get a medical kit for me and a retest for himself. They were supposed to come and visit me. They would have checked me and tested them too. Well, they will come tomorrow it seems, Bro said! They had missed my case, they said!

Today is Sunday, and my Mom says, "When you are at home, even though you don't help me much, I feel relaxed and strong. But today with you sick, I am not able to do anything!"

"I am totally fine, Amma." I say continuing, "And, what was that, I don't help?"

She grins!

My Dad peeps in from time to time just for a glimpse of me and I wave at him. 

He gives me a heart moving smile and my heart goes... 'Oooo!'

 

Ah, my family!

 

Tomorrow is another day. 

Fingers crossed, I hope all are fine... including me.

It’s still a mystery how did I get infected and with others testing negative it’s pointing towards office!

Well, I guess it’s not the time for back tracking. Whatever however it’s here and I should make use of this one week (that’s the minimum isolation period now!) away from office and kind of away from my loved ones and still near! And, yeah, Thank God for the smart phones and technology!

 

Date: 30.01.2022

 P.S.

 

Lockdown, Covid and Relationships!

Year 2020 had been hard! First, the corona... Second, the corona... Third, the corona... And, last, again... the corona!! Thats all that is there this year, I guess! It has become such a common phenomena that I have stopped watching the updates. I bet there are many who has stopped keeping tabs on the cases. Life needs to move on. Stomachs need to be fed. Business needs to be attended! Life needs to be carried on. And relationships...

Lockdown and restrictions on interstate movements have been removed but yet the risk... No one can vouch for safety! It's at our own responsibility now to take care of ourselves and others! In this era of limited movement how do one cope with relationships? 

Couples stuck in home with kids (online classes and the extra work of keeping then entertained!)... Couples stuck in different states... Unable to meet up. Couples stuck in same state but unable to go on dates like before... Couples engaged unable to fix a date for wedding... Couples newly married unable to go for their dream honeymoon! Couples who meetup occasionally but cant find time for each other like before because of the extra chores at home (as no take aways and home deliveries encouraged!) How do they cope up? Do they flourish and nourish or are they on the path of break up? 

As for me, I feel its a miniature version of long distance relationship thats going on.

We meet almost every day (being in same office and all)... We try not to miss having lunch together... A good 15minutes (spend eating and gossiping)! And we try maximum to spend a few minutes before leaving for home. A good 30minutes (idling and walk to the parking)! And, spend a few minutes on call before reaching home and getting sucked into the household chores! Thats about an hour of togetherness as opposed to 3 to 4 hours that we used to share pre-covid era!! Ofcourse there's always the WhatsApp.

But, is that enough? Some days goes without meeting even for a single minute! We get so entangled in the daily routines that we don't find time for eachother! No quality time! I feel like I had more time before and now no time at all.. not even for myself. I wonder whats happened and what would happen. There are days I sleep off exhausted without even wishing him Goodnight. Complaints have started. 'You don't talk like before. You don't spend enough time.' I don't deny them. And, guiltily, I feel I am not trying enough. The life's fallen into a routine... Waking up, household chores, breakfast, office, works (Meetings... deadlines... running around!), Back home... tea dinner and finally, winding up and collapsing on bed! In between all this a hi, a few updates, a few reminders and sometimes nothing! 

And, I wonder am I falling out of love or is it just a phase? 

I sincerely hope it's just a phase. I hope all stay strong and be there for each other. Like corona, all this is just a phase that would give way to a new a bright morrow. Have faith... Prayers and hopes!!