The Dark Demon

There was a time when DEATH never affected us. But as you grow up DEATH becomes a reality so dark and as you grow even more, I guess, DEATH becomes a reality so peaceful! I am right now in that middle stage where DEATH is a "SCARY DARK DEMON"... beyond imagination!

Today May 25th 2021, got a shocking news! My colleague's second son, a mere four and a half year old boy, passed away in an accident. He fell into the pond in the courtyard in his hometown and no one realised until it was too late. He was visiting for the holidays. Him and his elder brother... another kid! The mother was away and I can't imagine her grief. How will she bear? A part of her taken away so young... She herself so young! She was here with her third kid, a two year old!

“Grief is like mending a knee. You can mend the knee and make it function, but the knee never actually heals”

                – Jason Reynolds

Everyone used to ask her how she would manage with three kids? And now what... How will she manage not having all of her kids? Worse would be the memories! Bet each and everything would remind her of him and the loss! I am no mother myself but I can imagine the depth of this grief to an extent... a bottomless void! A breakup itself creates such a void and torturous memories... A mother and a child... unperceivable! Have read somewhere... no matter how many kids a woman will have... one kid lost... he would be the most loved of all... always.

“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell”

                      – William Penn

Have only seen similar tragic incidents in movies. Shed two tears and it was forgotten but of course the storyline and a few scenes would haunt at times but they could be conveniently forgotten and dismissed as just a story. But now... this. I seriously wish and hope it hadn't happened to someone I knew. Because I know her and her face comes to my mind... always smiling. Can't imagine sadness creeping into those eyes but the image keeps popping... the sadness.. the pain, and I try to forget. Forget the whole incident.

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."

                    – Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

Praying with hope that she gains the strength to bear and move forward without any negativity in her because its an easy time to get those negative thoughts in. Negative thoughts like all those what ifs and worse, blame! But who can one blame in this? Those who were there around and didn't keep track of the boy? Well, I am sure they would be self condemning themselves already! Or, the parents who were not around? I am sure they would be thinking of all those what ifs now!!

“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds” 

               – Psalm 147:3

It's not easy and somehow, not right to blame anyone but the mind... it can conjure up so many thoughts... Who will think of right or wrong at this hour? Sense feels senseless!!! Nothing is right.

“We never truly get over a loss, but we can move forward and evolve from it” – Elizabeth Berrien

A loss that can never be remedied... A pain that cannot be erased... A moment that cannot be reversed... Unfathomable and Unbearable. Yet life got to move on accepting and forgiving. 🙏

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

                    – PSALM 73:26

Cute... mmm!!!

Today a junior colleague of mine stopped me in the pantry and said, "Ma'am, kal main xyz ma'am k bete ko dekha. Bohut hi cute hai ma'am wo..."

(The xyz is one my closest friends here and I hadn't met her 6 months old son yet! Due to the corona and all!)

I was at a loss about how to respond. I couldn't picture cute! Of course my friend is beautiful so obviously her kid would be gol mol like her and "fair" (Being from north and all... That kind of fair!)! 

But, what did she mean by cute? I wanted to ask but that would sound ridiculous and well, rude too perhaps!

Aren't all babies cute? With their tiny innocent face and ever searching eyes? 

I have a few friends from south India and for them anything - anyone fair are beautiful and cute! The few times that I had stayed with them, they always seemed to feel inadequate because of their complexion! And, trust me, whenever they used crib and fret about it and look onto others skin tone with jealousy I have always felt like shaking them and telling them, look at me! Clearly they were fair compared to me but I wonder whether they are colour blind. Do they see only dark and fair? I want to tell them there are so many shades to a color! And so many beauty other than color of the skin! Touch wood, I have had a complexion-stress-free life with a fair share of fans! 

Well, as the saying goes beauty lies in the eye's of the beholder!

Cute... Reminded me of the pre-covid days when while returning home I had to pass an under construction building. Small sheds were placed around the building for the laborers where they stayed with their family! The kids played around on the heaps of mud. One evening as I passed them quite immersed in chatting with my friend... I heard the voice, "Bye, Akka..." I turned to see a small girl wave at me from top of the heap! She was surrounded by her friends or maybe siblings... Kids babies. I waved them back. Same thing repeated the next day. After a few days, they were not there and I felt sad. I missed that innocent exchange of gestures! It was always dark.. though i never saw her face, she was cute... She is cute!

Well, back to the present, I simply smiled and nodded and asked, "Milne gaye the tum?” and she replied, "Nahi, Video call!"!

Corona - The Fight Continues... Update

PM Modi launched pan-india rollout of Covid-19 vaccination drive today at 10.30AM live. 

Corona - The Fight Continues

Oh, it's New Year and I haven't written anything! Of course no one reads my posts!! (Ha ha) Still I am Hope... For all my future readers a very Happy New Year 2021!!

Year 2020 had started off normal turning into a chain of unexpected events like straight out of a movie! Year 2021 is continuing but with hope... The fight against the dreaded corona has taken a new turn... A Hope... A confidence...

We are starting with Vaccination and so many speculation... so many questions... doubts are coursing through our minds at this time... 

"How safe would it be? 

Will it be effective as claimed? 

What would be the side effects?

Would we succeed in getting rid of Corona finally - for good?"

All of us are by now done with this life full of restrictions and scare. Anyway, I think, many (most) of us have already started with normal life - doing everything that we once did. May be with the exception of having to wear a mask... Which mostly I see draped around the neck..like some fashion statement! Would this vaccination finally get rid of the "albatross around the neck"?

As per today, 5,63,500 doses of vaccine is delivered to different states. And the vaccine rollout would start from 16th January in a phased manner as per the Government.

The initial phase would cover about one crore health workers and two crore frontline workers..

In the next phase, those above 50yrs of age and those with associated co-morbidities like hypertension, diabetes, HIV, Cancer, chronic diseases etc would be considered. 

In subsequent phases others... Probably the Government may give open access via the private market to healthy adults, teenagers, children and lastly to neonates.

Covishield developed by Pune-based Serum Institute of India (SII) and Covaxin developed by Hyderabad-based pharmaceutical company Bharat Biotech and the Indian Council of Medical Research are the vaccines approved for restricted use in emergency situation vaccine that may prevent COVID-19 disease in individuals 18 years of age and older.

The Pune-based Serum Institute of India (SII) has issued a fact-sheet to answer frequently asked questions (FAQs) that vaccine beneficiaries might have.

"The Covishield vaccination course consists of two separate doses of 0.5 ml each. The second dose should be administered between four to six weeks after the first dose. However, there is data available for administration of the second dose up to 12 weeks after the first dose from the overseas studies," the fact-sheet reads.

The second dose is a must because as per the fact sheet the protective immune response will happen 4 weeks after the second dose of Covishield vaccine.

After numerous tests and trials, the Government has given the approval but still how can we not doubt. It had never happened before and probably may not happen in near future... some experience akin to a movie! And, over that the controversies, discussions and doubts... "The Oxford one or our own indigenous one?"

Covid virus seems to be varying... Especially with the findings of a new strain... "How effective would these vaccines be?"

"How will the whole process be monitored?"

Covid-19 vaccination drive will be virtually launched by the Prime Minister Narendra Modi on January 16. On the same day, PM Modi will also launch the Centre’s CoWIN (Covid Vaccine Intelligence Network) app to track listed beneficiaries for vaccination on a real-time basis. Right now, only officials have access to it and is being used as back-end software to kick-start the first phase Covid-19 vaccination for 1 crore healthcare workers whose data is being pre-populated in the application. When it does become open to everyone, it will have four modules -- user administrator, beneficiary registration, vaccination and beneficiary acknowledgement, and status updation. The app has two parts - one that will be used by the beneficiary and the other that will be a back-end module that will be used by vaccinators. The app is likely to be made accessible to the general public for registration by the end of March 2021.

All good, but is it mandatory for all to get vaccinated. "What if we are not sure about it? Do we have a say?" Of course, the vaccination is voluntary...

And, if we decide to take the vaccination, "what would be the side effects?" 

And, hygiene, mask, 6 feet precautions are to be followed even after vaccination. Vaccination doesn't mean every thing is back to normal. Hope people would understand especially those who go around wearing Mask as an ornament around the chin/neck!

Let's wait and see... I have my fingers crossed. Let's join hands and support the vaccination drive. May the efforts pay. May we soon see a Covid-free world again. 

Jai Hind!

P.S. All images and notes are from My Gov official site. All FAQs on COVID-19 vaccine rollout can be found here.

Lockdown, Covid and Relationships!

Year 2020 had been hard! First, the corona... Second, the corona... Third, the corona... And, last, again... the corona!! Thats all that is there this year, I guess! It has become such a common phenomena that I have stopped watching the updates. I bet there are many who has stopped keeping tabs on the cases. Life needs to move on. Stomachs need to be fed. Business needs to be attended! Life needs to be carried on. And relationships...

Lockdown and restrictions on interstate movements have been removed but yet the risk... No one can vouch for safety! It's at our own responsibility now to take care of ourselves and others! In this era of limited movement how do one cope with relationships? 

Couples stuck in home with kids (online classes and the extra work of keeping then entertained!)... Couples stuck in different states... Unable to meet up. Couples stuck in same state but unable to go on dates like before... Couples engaged unable to fix a date for wedding... Couples newly married unable to go for their dream honeymoon! Couples who meetup occasionally but cant find time for each other like before because of the extra chores at home (as no take aways and home deliveries encouraged!) How do they cope up? Do they flourish and nourish or are they on the path of break up? 

As for me, I feel its a miniature version of long distance relationship thats going on.

We meet almost every day (being in same office and all)... We try not to miss having lunch together... A good 15minutes (spend eating and gossiping)! And we try maximum to spend a few minutes before leaving for home. A good 30minutes (idling and walk to the parking)! And, spend a few minutes on call before reaching home and getting sucked into the household chores! Thats about an hour of togetherness as opposed to 3 to 4 hours that we used to share pre-covid era!! Ofcourse there's always the WhatsApp.

But, is that enough? Some days goes without meeting even for a single minute! We get so entangled in the daily routines that we don't find time for eachother! No quality time! I feel like I had more time before and now no time at all.. not even for myself. I wonder whats happened and what would happen. There are days I sleep off exhausted without even wishing him Goodnight. Complaints have started. 'You don't talk like before. You don't spend enough time.' I don't deny them. And, guiltily, I feel I am not trying enough. The life's fallen into a routine... Waking up, household chores, breakfast, office, works (Meetings... deadlines... running around!), Back home... tea dinner and finally, winding up and collapsing on bed! In between all this a hi, a few updates, a few reminders and sometimes nothing! 

And, I wonder am I falling out of love or is it just a phase? 

I sincerely hope it's just a phase. I hope all stay strong and be there for each other. Like corona, all this is just a phase that would give way to a new a bright morrow. Have faith... Prayers and hopes!!

Bootcamps!

My organization has got us all an annual subscription for Udemy... Udemy is an online learning platform featuring over 150000 video courses taught by expert instructors. 

Now all our training programs are done on udemy because of the covid situation and all! Udemy is a good idea but I generally miss the classroom training mostly because it used to be a welcome break from the daily hectic job! But considering the fact that we are living with this pandemic I guess this is a safe and good move by the company. All nice but then again, it asks for extra time (to do the courses) as one is expected to be working in lab during office hours than sitting in front of internet watching videos be it lectures or anything!!🙄

Anyways, guess its just a small price to pay for the chance to learn (for free!)😊. 

One day as I was browsing for my favourite topics I came across courses titled "bootcamp"... "The web developer bootcamp"... "The modern python 3 bootcamp" etc... For a second, I thought it's some new technology (of course, now I know there is a software named bootcamp, a multi boot utility, by apple that makes it possible to install windows os in intel based Macintosh pcs). Intrigued I couldn't stop myself from doing a small research on "bootcamps" only to realise that its origin is dated so back!!!

A few definitions of bootcamp that I came across:

World Wide Words

"It derives from a slightly older slang term "boot" for a recruit in basic training or an inexperienced enlisted man, on record from 1911.

There is a persistent legend that it appeared during the Spanish-American War of 1898, or at least around that period. One version bhas it that sailors’ leggings were known as boots and that the term was transferred to recruits."

WordNet:

boot camp (n.)

"camp for training military recruits."

Online etymology dictionary:

boot camp (n.)

"training station for recruits," by 1941, U.S. Marines slang, said to be from boot (n.1) as slang for "recruit," which is attested by 1915 and supposedly dates from the Spanish-American War and is a synecdoche from boots "leggings worn by U.S. sailors."

Merriam-Webster:

Boot camp (noun)

1. a navy or marine corps camp for basic training.

2. a disciplinary facility or program in which young offenders are forced to participate in a rigidly structured routine.

3. a place or undertaking that resembles a military boot camp especially by requiring one to endure intensive training or initiation.

Examples:

"Nowadays, the more talented players view their college years as necessary boot camp to prepare them for the riches waiting for them in pro football."— Anson Mount

"These youngsters are put through what amounts to a boot camp of courses in music notation, basic harmony and ear-training."— Smithsonian

 

Cut-short: Basically a slang for basic training! But why name tech training courses bootcamp... and I see there are many organisations as well named bootcamp and also many events!!

Still searching, finally I come across Wikipedia, (Our own Wikipedia and I wonder why I didn't go to wiki first🤦🏻‍♀️!!):

"Boot camp (correctional): a type of correctional facility for adolescents, especially in the U.S. penal system

Boot camp: a training camp for learning various types of skills

Dev bootcamp: a defunct computer programming technical school

Fitness boot camp: a type of physical training program

Bootcamp: Military recruit training"

Ah, now I get it!! And, I have enrolled for a bootcamp as well!😀

August Bloomers 🧑🏻‍🤝‍🧑🏻

Happy birthday 😊😊