Promises and Love

 "Ye ho sakta hai, apne dil ke andar ek ladki ko rakhna, jise 78 years se dekha tak nahi?"

One day, we came across the trailer of Imtiaz Ali's Main Vaapas Aaunga. In one particular scene, the character played by Diljit Dosanjh asks:

"Ye ho sakta hai, apne dil ke andar ek ladki ko rakhna, jise 78 years se dekha tak nahi?"

My guy turns to me and asks, "Is it possible? Can you love someone for so many years?" Then he laughs and adds, "That's if we live that long!"

But his question stayed with me.

After a moment, I replied, "Yes. I think it's easy to love someone from afar—with the same intensity and purity—for as long as eternity."

What is difficult, however, is maintaining that same intensity, tenderness, and selflessness in a relationship even for a year. That's where the real test lies.

Individually, most of us are at our best. But when two people come together, it's like a chemical reaction. You can know the elements, but there's no way of predicting whether the compound will turn out acidic, alkaline, or neutral, or somtimes beautifully balanced!

And then again, it's never just two elements.

Each of us carries so much within us—our pasts, our fears, our dreams, our wounds, and the many versions of ourselves that emerge over time. Together, it becomes beautifully unpredictable.

Perhaps the challenge isn't loving someone despite that unpredictability, but learning to love the unpredictability itself—to accept it in all its flaws, contradictions, and weirdness.

So maybe the question I'd ask is:

"Ye ho sakta hai, koi 78 saal kisi ke saath rahe aur usi pyaar aur chaah ko barkarar rakhe?" (Can two people stay together for 78 years and still preserve the same love, longing, and wonder for each other?)

Having said all that, it doesn't mean I think any less of the movie.

🎬 It's a beautiful film. We happened to watch it this weekend, and the amount of detailing that has gone into it deserves applause. 

And the imagination—kudos to that!

And the actors - just amazing! 

With a huge fan of Imtiaz Ali at home, I couldn't escape watching it—and I'm glad I didn't. 

The movie is not just about that one line. It's so much more than the story of two people in love. 

It's an inspiration—a reminder of the kind of love we all dream of finding at least once in our lives. 

Its also about hope, love, loss, survival, sacrifices...

Its about promises...

Its about life itself!

I won't say anything more and risk spoiling it, but honestly, anyone carrying even a spark of love within them will find themselves touched! 

Relationships & Hurt!

What is more pathetic.. that you are hurt or that the person who hurt you doesn't even know that they hurt you and goes about as if nothing has happened.

What are you supposed to do then? Sulk it out within yourself or press the pause button and say, "hey listen, man, you hurt me big time!"

What if, even then he doesn't get it? What if he cannot see the hurt but instead feel that you are over reacting and he goes on as if, again, nothing had happened?

And, you start wondering, 'Am i the crazy one here?' 'Am i really seeing too much into a seemingly non essential matter?'

But the hurt... it's still there simmering and ready to flare up any moment!

11.02.2022

Finally, Me Too!

Finally, it found me!

 

A bright hot sunny morning I decided to do it! Still there was a minute hope in me that I am worrying for nothing! May be it’s just a breeze that would go away but, alas, as the clock stuck 9 at night, my phone buzzed with messages. With prayers on my lips and still not finding the courage to open the messages I pulled down the notification bar and the first thing I see...

"Please isolate yourself and stay at home."

With heart racing and confusion I opened my message app and there 2 new messages awaited me and immediately 2 more followed in Kannada.

 

As I read them I collapsed into the nearest chair and couldn't move! Almost for 2 years I had kept them at bay but at last.

"What happened?” My mom's voice reached me like from afar.

My brother had fever for a few days and then cold and severe cough. A few days later my mother followed suit and I was also feeling unwell! Then one fine morning, the fated day, I decided not to take a chance and went for the RT-PCR test!

 

Well, it's been two days since and yesterday night I felt the first tremors of Fever! Took a Dolo but still after half an hour my feet and hands were dead cold! I took one Calpol 500 after an hour and soon felt sweat breaking and I sighed! Again, yesterday, as the clock stuck 9 at night, my phone buzzed with notification. It was a mail notification. At the same time my brother came to me and said "I am negative!" After my test results we had given other's samples too for testing. I kind of knew what the other's results would be too.

I was the only one positive and to be honest I was baffled! It was unexpected and thank God I was already sitting.

Then things happened so swiftly under the guidance of my brother. 

Fast forward, I found myself in a room all alone! They even closed the door!

Well, yeah, it's for their safety and all and I had been wearing mask too at home since I had started feeling unwell. Thank God for that surely. 

 

But still can't help a sort of helplessness that it brings on you.

You are sick... yes! 

You feel alone... Yes! 

Even though you know your loved ones are just on the other side of the door!

 

I had been sharing my bed with Mom since a few days after her hysterectomy (oh! that was some nightmare, isn't it!). And, Bro fears that she might have got infected through me!

Valid! 

Ah, but this heart!

Our Aunty (Dad's sis) who is a doctor suggested a retest since Bro had loss of smell! So, he went to the health center nearby to get a medical kit for me and a retest for himself. They were supposed to come and visit me. They would have checked me and tested them too. Well, they will come tomorrow it seems, Bro said! They had missed my case, they said!

Today is Sunday, and my Mom says, "When you are at home, even though you don't help me much, I feel relaxed and strong. But today with you sick, I am not able to do anything!"

"I am totally fine, Amma." I say continuing, "And, what was that, I don't help?"

She grins!

My Dad peeps in from time to time just for a glimpse of me and I wave at him. 

He gives me a heart moving smile and my heart goes... 'Oooo!'

 

Ah, my family!

 

Tomorrow is another day. 

Fingers crossed, I hope all are fine... including me.

It’s still a mystery how did I get infected and with others testing negative it’s pointing towards office!

Well, I guess it’s not the time for back tracking. Whatever however it’s here and I should make use of this one week (that’s the minimum isolation period now!) away from office and kind of away from my loved ones and still near! And, yeah, Thank God for the smart phones and technology!

 

Date: 30.01.2022

 P.S.

 

World Samosa Day 🍱

Do you know, September 5th is World Samosa Day?

Photo credits: Internet

Samosa, as we know it, is a popular snack in India. They are prepared using wheat or maida flour with fillings (veg or non-veg) and served with chutney made with mint, tamarind, and coriander. They vary in size and shape depending on where they are from (cones or half-moons but usually are triangular in shape). Just as with their size and shape, their ingredients and spices vary by region (peas, potatoes, cheese, onions, minced meat, beef, lamb, green chiles, ginger, and spices).

According to Historians, Samosa's origin is dated back to 10th century in the Iranian Plateau in the Middle East. The first official mention of samosa was found in Iranian historian Abolfazl Beyhaqi’s work Tarikh-e Beyhaghi, where it was referred to as ‘Sambosa’.

From there they made their way into India through Libya, Egypt, and Central Asia! That was sometime in the 13th or 14th century during the Delhi Sultanate rule. The first mention of samosa in the royal era began when noted poet and scholar of the Delhi Sultanate, Amir Khusro spoke of samosa prepared from meat, ghee, and onion that nobles relished during that time.

Later, in 14th-century traveller, Ibn Battuta, mentioned about sambusak (aka samosa) made with minced meat, walnuts, pistachios, almonds, and spices being served as part of a royal meal in the court of Muhammad bin Tughluq. Even in the Mughal dynasty, Ain-i-Akbari, has mentioned the recipe of samosa known as ‘Sanbúsah’.

 

From then to now, the versions have only increased and each one special! For example, in Portugal, Brazil, and Mozambique region, samosa is known as ‘pastéis’. While in the Arab countries, they call it ‘Sambusak’ stuffed with minced meat or chicken, onions, spinach and feta cheese. In Israel samosas are stuffed with mashed chickpeas and in Maldives, they stuff it with a filling of tuna or fish mixed with onions.

All these names come from the Persian word Sanbosag, which means "triangle pastry." 

 

From Asia, the popularity has spread world wide gaining a dedicated day for itself! Since 2016 September 5 is celebrated as World Samosa Day!

There's even a Guinness World Record in 2017 for the absolute largest Samosa in the world, weighing 153 kg, made in a London mosque as a way to bring awareness to a charity! Way to go on World Samosa Day!

Samosas and Jalebis are much sought after dish in many parts of India!

Oh, all the talk on Samosas has made my stomach growl with hunger or perhaps craving! I am going to do pet puja!

 C U later... Till then, Stay safe and Stay healthy! 🙏

07.09.2021

Me Too Vaccinated!

Day 01.06.2021... Got vaccinated!

I was not going to. I had not even thought of getting the vaccination at least not this week. The drive for vaccinating 18+ got started on 28th May in our office. 

Some one sent a message on WhatsApp group that slots are free and no rush... So people were rushing like an opportunity not to missed. 

Surprisingly, a few of those covidiots whom I have never seen neither wearing masks proper and never missing a chance to gossip were the first ones to get vaccinated! I was under the impression that they considered themselves as superhumans whom the virus could never touch! Guess, superhumans also have weaknesses! 

Vaccination is a safety net for the one vaccinated but they could be a carrier and pass on the virus to others. I wonder should I name them Selfish or am I just over thinking! Left to see how they would be behaving after the vaccination... Because no where any one has said that once vaccinated we can discard the covid appropriate behaviors! 

Neither do I want to be infected nor do I wish to be a carrier! 🙏 

My boss came and kind of informed me of the centre asking me to go if I wanted to. I was literally in a dilemma. 

Should I or shouldn't I? 

The vaccination for 18+ had started on May 1st but due to shortage of vaccines it had not been going on full fledged like when it was for 60plus and 45plus. And, I had been thinking I will do it once my parents second dose is done... Around this month second week! I had all those questions that I am sure many had and still have... doubts... Fears... are they efficient... any unknown side effects? They were so strong almost pulling me back! But, anyway went ahead... some safety is better than nothing, I guess! 

It felt like an invasion... Letting some stranger into my blood stream... Into the core of my body... I could almost imagine my whole inner body gearing up to face this unknown forced entry! All those chaos because of a stranger in the midst! 

Initially for 45+, our office had given Covaxin, developed by Bharat Biotech in collaboration with the Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR) - National Institute of Virology (NIV). Covaxin is developed using Whole-Virion Inactivated Vero Cell derived platform technology i.e., they are inactivated vaccines which do not replicate and are therefore unlikely to revert and cause pathological effects. They contain dead virus, incapable of infecting people but still able to instruct the immune system to mount a defensive reaction against an infection. The technology similar to those in the vaccines for diseases such as Seasonal Influenza, Polio, Pertussis, Rabies, and Japanese Encephalitis.

But for 18+, they are giving Covishield. I think because of shortage! Covishield - the Oxford-AstraZeneca vaccine created by the Serum Institute of India. It is a recombinant, replication-deficient chimpanzee adenovirus vector encoding the SARS-CoV-2 Spike (S) glycoprotein. Following administration, the genetic material of part of corona virus is expressed which stimulates an immune response.

Anyways, time only will tell how efficient they are! For now, I am nursing my injected arm trying to reduce the pain and had a paracetamol for the fever and headache I felt when I woke up this morning. Amma is not letting do any work so it's my absolute day off! 😁

May doze off any moment... dreaming the battle of corona within me! 

Let the good conquer the evil. 🙏

02.06.2021

An Unexpected phone call!

“Memory is the treasure house of the mind wherein the monuments thereof are kept and preserved.”

                          – Thomas Fuller

The many years that we live in this world, we cross line with lives of so many people. Some leaving a mark in us, some becoming friends forever and some mere acquaintances who we tend to forget as we move on and some others who becomes memories… Memories of a beautiful time! And years later when something unexpected happens and triggers those memories… we literally go back into those times and relive them in the mysterious mind of ours. The ecstasy that brings… indescribable!

It was a very uneventful day… office day for me. We have an alternate days working schedule with 50 per cent attendance because of this lockdown. That kind of makes it a little easy to go to office in the midst of this second wave. May God bless the souls of people (so many) who had succumbed to this deadly virus and those suffering the aftermaths of the infection! And, may the infected get well soon without much complication! And, the rest, May God give them enough sense to follow covid appropriate behaviour!

So it was a very uneventful day. Made tea in the evening and had with my family. And, casually my father comes and sits next to me. He nudges me to look at him and I see him all beaming. His eyes and face an explosion of emotions and happiness as he says, Today I got two calls from my long lost friends… and he went on to say how two of his friends had called him and what all they spoke before sharing with me how surprised he was on getting their call… they had lost touch almost 30 years ago! Happy that they had searched for his number and called him… Happy for the happy memories that caught with him with these unexpected calls! And me, just happy to see him so much excited!

“So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good.”

                      – Helen Keller

All evening he moved around dreamily absorbed in his own world of memories. After dinner, I find him browsing in the gallery and about to share one of his stylish snaps. (He has lots of pictures of himself in different styles and poses… always takes a snap before going for a shave or hair cut! And sometimes he would be crazy about moustaches and grow them and send a pic to all before shaving! Men and their fashion!! ). I quietly watch him.

I could see ecstasy right in front of me then!

God Bless! 

28.05.2021

P.S. Please note that the word  ecstasy here in this context is used to mean extreme happiness... A kind of bliss. That's the first word that came to my mind and I didn't feel like editing 😊... The word's got a punch!!

The Dark Demon

There was a time when DEATH never affected us. But as you grow up DEATH becomes a reality so dark and as you grow even more, I guess, DEATH becomes a reality so peaceful! I am right now in that middle stage where DEATH is a "SCARY DARK DEMON"... beyond imagination!

Today May 25th 2021, got a shocking news! My colleague's second son, a mere four and a half year old boy, passed away in an accident. He fell into the pond in the courtyard in his hometown and no one realised until it was too late. He was visiting for the holidays. Him and his elder brother... another kid! The mother was away and I can't imagine her grief. How will she bear? A part of her taken away so young... She herself so young! She was here with her third kid, a two year old!

“Grief is like mending a knee. You can mend the knee and make it function, but the knee never actually heals”

                – Jason Reynolds

Everyone used to ask her how she would manage with three kids? And now what... How will she manage not having all of her kids? Worse would be the memories! Bet each and everything would remind her of him and the loss! I am no mother myself but I can imagine the depth of this grief to an extent... a bottomless void! A breakup itself creates such a void and torturous memories... A mother and a child... unperceivable! Have read somewhere... no matter how many kids a woman will have... one kid lost... he would be the most loved of all... always.

“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell”

                      – William Penn

Have only seen similar tragic incidents in movies. Shed two tears and it was forgotten but of course the storyline and a few scenes would haunt at times but they could be conveniently forgotten and dismissed as just a story. But now... this. I seriously wish and hope it hadn't happened to someone I knew. Because I know her and her face comes to my mind... always smiling. Can't imagine sadness creeping into those eyes but the image keeps popping... the sadness.. the pain, and I try to forget. Forget the whole incident.

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."

                    – Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

Praying with hope that she gains the strength to bear and move forward without any negativity in her because its an easy time to get those negative thoughts in. Negative thoughts like all those what ifs and worse, blame! But who can one blame in this? Those who were there around and didn't keep track of the boy? Well, I am sure they would be self condemning themselves already! Or, the parents who were not around? I am sure they would be thinking of all those what ifs now!!

“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds” 

               – Psalm 147:3

It's not easy and somehow, not right to blame anyone but the mind... it can conjure up so many thoughts... Who will think of right or wrong at this hour? Sense feels senseless!!! Nothing is right.

“We never truly get over a loss, but we can move forward and evolve from it” – Elizabeth Berrien

A loss that can never be remedied... A pain that cannot be erased... A moment that cannot be reversed... Unfathomable and Unbearable. Yet life got to move on accepting and forgiving. 🙏

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

                    – PSALM 73:26